ROOTED

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A year ago today officially marked the end of my academic time as a masters student...and the start of restless wandering.



In the few short weeks that followed, I would begin interviewing for jobs, actually graduate, and then have to make the biggest decision of my life. Or so it seemed at the time.

I got the coveted call, a job offer; Yolo County was offering me an opportunity to be a social worker in the one place in the world that I considered 'home.' It seemed like a dream come true....living my passion in the place I love, surrounded by some of my favorite human beings on the planet.

But instead of running back North with arms wide open, I made the decision to stay in Southern California...
".....it is a time to be stretched by uncertainty and the unfamiliar. It is a time to lean into all that is difficult and painful. It is a time to face the things that I think I cannot. It is time to unearth the treasures and debt within my soul. It is a time to fan the flame of love and faith. It is a time to surrender. It is a time to embrace the unknown. It is a time to relinquish control. It is a time to face fears. It is a time to be relentless. And it is a time to stay. (May 2015)" 

A year later, I'd like to tell you that I've conquered this long list of issues. That I've eradicated fear, let go of hurts, and learned to live life with courageous abandon. I'd like to tell you that I'm the strong, healthy, faithful person I sought after when I decided to stay.

But I cannot.

Not yet anyways.

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Last week I was in Northern California for a wedding and went to church with a couple friends Sunday morning. I have no doubt it was an appointment for the dose of truth, and the immunizing reminder I needed...

Life, and growth, is a process.
A timely process.

Now even if you don't identify with God, or Christianity, there is no denying the agricultural process of growing crops is....slooooooow. As Pastor Banning reminded us, "no one plants a tree and expects to get fruit the next day." In fact, he offered, there are plant species that take over a decade to fully develop and display their first fruits.

Similarly, seeds planted in my life take time to grow.

In agriculture, a farmer is bound to a seasonal process (even in California) to plant, grow, harvest, and rest. Often fields are even rotated to allow the soil to rest -- or restore nutrients -- before the next seeds are planted.

My life is bound to this same process. And as much I love to harvest success, its easy to forget the time and labor that is necessary for growing these good things... 


We have become an accelerated and instantaneous culture that lives with expectation of knowing, having, and getting things immediately. We no longer live in the age of letters delivered by mailmen, pictures developed at the drugstore, or waiting in line to purchase, well anything. As is such, we believe our lives are developed at the same download speed as our electronics...that our bodies, minds, and hearts are transformed as readily as our upgrades. And unfortunately, real life lived in 4G leaves us really unsatisfied...and unable to comprehend the restlessness pent up within.


Using this agricultural perspective that is interwoven throughout the Bible, Pastor Banning painted a modern day reminder that God still grows roots...."even if you haven't seen the vision come to fruition, although you haven't had the major breakthrough, just because you can't see the progress...does not mean God is dormate in your life. He is always at work to grow and develop us."

And in that moment I knew...

My restlessness came from thinking I was on technological rather than an agricultural timeline.

"To be more candid, I think that this is a season of growing, and healing, and fighting. It is a time to be stretched by uncertainty and the unfamiliar. It is a time to lean into all that is difficult and painful. It is a time to face the things that I think I cannot. It is time to unearth the treasures and debt within my soul. It is a time to fan the flame of love and faith. It is a time to surrender. It is a time to embrace the unknown. It is a time to relinquish control. It is a time to face fears. It is a time to be relentless. And it is a time to stay. (May 2015)"

All those good things I vowed to work towards...started with the recognition of one thing -- THIS IS A SEASON OF GROWING.


This is the time God is using to build roots. And just like the farmer cannot will his crops into existence, neither can I microwave my hopes and dreams into reality. In no way does this mean I am to just sit-back and wait for fruit...there is intensive labor involved.
And anticipation for what is to come.
But I was meant not just to survive the growing process, but to thrive in it.


Ultimately, I don't know where I will end up when the harvest comes, if you will...but for now, I will remind myself in the moments of frustration, when nothing seems solid and everything feels the same, that growing takes good ol'fashioned time.

And more importantly, just because I might not see anything on the surface yet, does not mean growth hasn't happened...roots grow deep before plants grow up.


Here's to being rooted.


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