COME ALIVE

so i had an epiphany yesterday during my drive to the south of california while enduring a commen rebellious mental mechanincal hankering. while enviously hashing out my irritation that i should be the owner of a tricked-out vehicle for fully deserved adventures...i mean, i work hard. i pay my bills. i work harder. and pay more bills. why shouldn't i have a wicked tricked out truck to tow all my invisible toys, which will one day most definately materialize, and quite frankly just go wild in?! i want it. i deserve it. it seems not fair. that i, am stuck in some 4-cylinder pace car is an absolutle atrocity. but then it happened. almost in the blink of an eye. like a magnificent revelation. i actually kinda like my car. i mean, quite frankly, in an abstract sense, it's the only inatimate object that i could truthfully call my best friend. in the three years we've been together, as of this upcoming monday, we've enduredover 65,000 miles together...coasts, mountains, valley

two extremely powerful, painfully revealing lessons from God this weekend: one . " you are never more like satan than when full of pride " how painfully humbling to think that my behavior like that of satan most of the time. in my desire to always be right, always win, never be wrong, and never apologize...i am actually reflecting the characteristics and attributes of satan. two . " do know what you are saying about the blood and power of jesus if you won't forgive and trust? you're saying his blood wasn't good enough to cleanse you. that he isn't powerful enough to protect you ." when i begin to believe that i am not good enough or not really worth anybodys time, or in my pride believe that god doesn't actually care about me asking foregiveness, then i have reached a point in which my actions tell god that he lacks the perfect power to forgive, heal, and protect. these leave me overwhelmed. completely overwhelmed with truth.