COME ALIVE

the past few weeks have been both a beautiful and painful process, much like time spent in the yard, god has been gardening the landscape of my life. and while it makes for a healthier, more magnificent place...it is tediously tiresome, and just (sometimes) downright hurts. earlier this week, i listened to a sermon on forgiveness followed by one on grace. enter my anger. followed by frustration. and almighty pride. the speaker, peter tebow, stated, "it was my sin that killed jesus when it was placed on his perfect body to endure the wrath of god...in the moment that god turned his back on jesus, his only company was my sin and the wrath that followed." he later stated, "i don't understand this love...i am not that valuable, i am not that beautiful, i am not a great creation, i am inherently invaluable." now peter tebow may be able to openly admit his lack of value, but i surely cannot. i want to do everything in my power to be valued, it is an innate drive i hav

today was rough. more appropriately, it was impressively disappointing. as myself and thirty or so other co-workers gathered at a nurturing fathers training this morning, i can pretty confidently say that none of us expected to spend the next seven hours unraveling how our fathers shaped our childhood. it was explicit. it was painful. it was deeply emotional. did you that from 1960 to 2005, fatherless homes tripled from 8 to 24 million? did you know that 1 out of every 3 children in our nation lives in a fatherless home? throughout the day i listened as co-workers shared their stories of triumph and struggle, of joy and sadness. as each person shared, it was obvious something was wrong...while the group was sprinkled with a few stories of committed, loving fathers, most were filled with painful reminisces of fear, violence, or absence. as i listened and nodded in agreement, i could hear the words that i have sung so many times before ring crystal clear... it is amazing how the words an

february is a great opportunity to celebrate one of the most amazing men i know, and have still yet to meet; i will meet him one day and it will be glorious-this i am quite certain. february 12th marked the 203rd year since the birth of abraham lincoln. and yesterday, february 21st was a federal holiday in which we celebrate a host of presidents, and we all know who tops that list. in my book anyways. thus i would like to take a short minute and share the top ten reasons why i love abe. #1. his words-there are very few men that have walked this earth that can create such emotion and power using nothing but words. i cannot begin to express what choice morsels his speeches, letters, and writings are to my soul. #2. his friendship-despite the cost, he sought a profound friendship with frederick douglass...despite the fact that many viewed a man such as frederick as property to be gained, abe saw him as one of his closest, and most adversarial, companions. in a nation plagued with slavery,

I have come to quite a stark revelation in this past week, as I my emotions, attitude, and outlook, went from soaringly high to Earth-shattering plummet. As I drug myself through the last days of the this week, I realized that my old lifestyle of self-absorbed thinking and living had returned. My sin was back. And my sin is my cancer. While I have never suffered personally from any biological form of cancer, leukemia, or the like, I have known many who have fought, suffered, struggled, survived, or died from the disease. I in no way want to make light of those who are (or who know those) physically affected, nor lead people to believe that cancer is caused by or because of one's sin. Rather, I would like to allow their struggle, defeat, success, and courage to act as an analogy, helping me understand a lifelong battle with my cancer, sin. When I think of cancer, I imagine an evil that is within attacking the very life of a person. Each day is a battle to survive...tests, treatments